Monday, December 1, 2014

Follow the Light

Why do you mess with me with me,
Is it because I am chosen?
I’m walking towards the light,
While God is shaping and molding.

Maybe it’s because I love Him.
Staying loyal to Him,
Assures me
You can’t win!

Why does it feel like a gift and a curse?
I guess I know how God feels,
With His creation called Earth.

I accept my calling.
But why does it hurt so much,
When everything around you
Starts falling?

Most of us call that growth,
Can you hear the pain in the words
I just spoke?

Crying inside all the time,
As the natural eye sees the outside
Looking just fine.

Turning the other cheek,
Starts to get old.
God says do it son,
So I do as I’m told.

But you say get even,
And get revenge.
Manipulating my mind,
Just to kill me in the end.

I hear well though,
So I recognize the voices.
The difference between the two,
That brings about different choices

So even though some go left,
I choose to go right.
Everyone in the dark,
Will soon or later come into the light!

Friday, November 28, 2014

Jeopardy Game for Improving Kids Behavior


Social skills
1 point
Communication skills
1 point
Follow Adult Directives
1 point
Anger management skills
1 point
Social skills
2 points
Communication skills
2 points
Follow Adult Directives
2 points
Anger management skills
2 points

Social skills
3 points
Communication skills
3 points
Follow Adult Directives
3 points
Anger management skills
3 points
Social skills
4 points
Communication skills
4 points
Follow Adult Directives
4 points
Anger management skills
4 points
Social skills
5 points
Communication skills
5 points
Follow Adult Directives
5 points
Anger management skills
5 points

Children Questions

Child 1 point question
Social skills- name one social skill
Communication skills: name one communication skill
Following directives: name one word that means following directives
Anger management skills- name one coping skill

Child 2 points question
Social skills: What do social skills mean?
Communication skills: What do communication skills mean?
Following Adults directives: What does follow adult directives mean?
Anger management skills: What does anger management mean?
Children can ask for a hint from their parents.

Child 3 points question
Social skills: Tell me about a time you used poor social interaction skills. What can you do differently the next time? Did you apologize?
Communication skills: Tell me about a time you used inappropriate communication skills when speaking with an adult. What can you do differently the next time? Did you apologize?
Following Adults directives: Tell me about a time you refused to follow directives. What can you do differently the next time? Did you apologize?
Anger management skills: Tell me about a time you made someone feel anger. What can you do differently the next time? Did you apologize?

Child 4 points question                    
Social skills: Why is it good to respect someone personal space?
Communication skills: Why is it important not to yell, curse, or use inappropriate body language when communicating with others?
Following Adults directives: What is a positive consequence for following adult directives?
Anger management skills: What is the one trigger to your anger you must stay aware of?

Child 5 points question
Social skills: When playing with my sibling, I learned to ___________.
Communication skills: If you could change the way one person communicates his or her feelings to you what would it be.
Following Adults directives: How do your parents feel when you follow their directives?

Anger management skills: I need to learn how to ____________when I become angry.

 Adult Questions

Adult 1 point question
Social skills- name three social skills
Communication skills: name three communication skills
Following directives: name two words that means following directives
Anger management skills- name three coping skills

Adult 2 points question
Social skills: What do social skills mean?
Communication skills: What do communication skills mean?
Following directives: What does follow directives mean?
Anger management skills: What does anger management mean?

Adult 3 points question
Social skills: Tell me about a time you used poor social interaction skills. What did you learn from the situation? Would you use what you have learned if the situation happens again?
Communication skills: Tell me about a time you used inappropriate communication skills. What triggered you to behave in that manner? What would you do the next time?
Following directives: Tell me about a time when someone gave you good advice and you chose not to take it and regretted it later. What lesson did you learn? What can you do differently the next time?
Anger management skills: Tell me about a time you made someone feel anger. What can you do differently the next time? Did you apologize?

Adult 4 points question
Social skills: When resolving a conflict where you are upset, is it better to take a break and continue with the discussion later or continue to the end even if it causes an argument?
Communication skills: Why is it important not to yell, curse, or use inappropriate body language when communicating with others?
Following directives: When a person ask you to do a task you do not want to do, should you say okay and angrily complete or express how you feel first and then complete it. Or should you ignore them in a respectful way and not do it at all.
Anger management skills: What is the one trigger to your anger you must stay aware of?

Adult 5 points question
Social skills: name something that is different about two family members that you learn to accept.
Communication skills: If you could change the way two people communicate their feelings to you what would it be.
Following Adults directives: name two techniques you could use to encourage your children to listen.
Anger management skills: I need to learn how to ____________when I become angry. 

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Children Diagnosed with Bipolar

Bipolar is a biochemical mood disorder. Children diagnosed with bipolar usually cannot handle changes very well. Therefore, parents must them with controlling anger and eliminating melt downs. Parents can start off by changing their children’s diet. They should avoid food high in sugar and dyes. Sugar may cause hyperactive behavior and manic mental state.

Since children diagnosed with bipolar may suffer with depression, they may have a negative self-image. As a result, they may be socially withdrawn, have thoughts of death of dying (intent), and/or maybe sensitive to rejection. They may also have anger outburst.

Children diagnosed with Bipolar may also experience a change in their sleeping patterns, psychosis (disconnect from reality), and delusion. They may become paranoid fearing that someone is out to get them. Children may also experience a decrease need for sleep especially during manic (lot of energy) episodes. They may stay up all night during manic states. They experience changes in their mood that may not be necessarily triggered by something or someone else. They may or may not be triggered.

Children diagnosed with Bipolar believe that they are right and not that they are against someone. Grandiosity and anger maybe confused with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. They may become angry and easily irritated. They can also experience mood swings within a day that can last up to 5 days. In addition with the mood swings, they may start hearing voices, have anxiety, become withdrawn, and inattentive.  The children may look distracted. Parents may have to tell them something over 5 times. Unless the parents raise their voices, the children may not hear them. If the parents yell, the children think their parents are angry with them and as a result, they may have an angry outburst. Hope this information helps. 

Sunday, November 9, 2014

How I Won the Battle

I’m at a point in my life where everything I want and need seems so far away, but in my mind and heart, it’s so easy to achieve. I know I have crossroads to overcome, but I want my fight back. I know I’m ready to go get it, but how do you put the fight back in yourself when sometimes you have given up on it. I have fought for everyone else and things that they believe in, but when it comes to my fight, it seems so hard to believe in. I pray that my love for life and enjoyment of living life has not given up on me, because I will not go out without a fight. So, this day, I declare that I will have victory in my life, mind, and body.  I will win over adversity. I will win over defeat, and I will make the devil my foot stool, in Jesus name.

I’m in this house fighting for myself. I want to have me back. I have thought of all the things that I have achieved by not giving up. I am a powerful woman, and I know that puts fear in some people, but as for me and mines, it has only opened my eyes to see that it’s just the beginning. Therefore, I must begin to understand that it is never over. It’s just time to get started.

I have been given so many blessing to look forward to and given the chance and opportunities to make things better in my life. Now, I have to want it badly enough to fight for it, so I don’t want to fight today and give up tomorrow. I need to continue to grow and strive for the courage to fight everyday forward. That is how I won the battle.

By: Nicole Crawford

Saturday, November 1, 2014


Riding into work this morning is always an interesting event. After battling with my kids to stop watching Spongebob and get ready for school so I can drop them off to their early morning programs, I look forward to taking the 25 minute ride to work. During this ride I either choose to listen to a sermon, the Holy Bible app on my phone, or the Steve Harvey morning show to decompress from the morning turn-up with my kids and begin to get focus and mentally ready for work. This particular morning I chose to listen to the Steve Harvey Morning Show, as I was curious about the infamous strawberry letter this morning. After listening to the letter and while hearing Steve’s usual hilarious response, something that he said really struck a chord and caught my attention. Towards the end of his response he stated, “The thing you want the most of is the thing that you are most unwilling to give!”

Later on that day an old friend from high school called me to inquire how I’ve been and how my new job was going. After having a conversation with my old friend from high school, I began thinking about my friend, Sammy Strain from the R&B group, The Ojays. We spent the summer of 2010 hanging out and barbequing a lot as I was new to the neighborhood and he was my first friend when I came to New Jersey.  As I was reminiscing, I remember he once told me that life is all about love and learning how to love everybody regardless of who they are. At the time, this was difficult for me. My experiences up to that point shaped and molded me into an individual that was very guarded and extremely protective of my heart. Dealing with trauma, failures, and disappointments made me into an individual that preferred to be isolated and reclusive. I had a hard time developing and sustaining relationships. It took me a long time to understand that my heart was affected by all of my experiences. It wasn't until I fully understood who God was and how much I needed Him in my life when I began the process of healing my heart.  When I was younger, my mother would take my brother and I to church, but honestly I couldn't stand going. Getting up out of the bed and walking to church and then having to sit there for 2 hours, honestly seemed more like a punishment. I mean the Pastor was so so and I mean so so sleepy boring that my brother and I would fall asleep constantly, but my mother would always wake us up or take us outside to get some air while opening a can of you know what! It's interesting to see how God can take your life 360 degrees full circle. Nowadays, I can't wait to go to church and hear God’s message.

After getting baptized again on October 12 2008, I began a journey that I had no idea that I was headed on. I thought going down in the water meant I instantly became what God wanted me to be. I had no idea that the journey was a direct mission to change the condition of my heart. During my conversation with my friend, I told them how God tends to shape and mold us.  I gave them an example that was giving to me about when someone prays and asks for more patience. I told them that in order to have more patience, you have to have more chaos and confusion in order to develop the skill and the trait of having more patience. What I learned and fully understand now is in order to obtain the blessings God has for us, we must be willing to be tested. Once we pass the test, in the words of my dear brother Titus, RIP, it's the heating and beating man, the shaping and molding that the test provides that allows us to truly be what and how God sees us in His vision. God said love thy neighbor like you love yourself! The hardest thing I ever had to do and I'm sure everyone can attest to, is giving my love to the difficult to love.  Isn't it funny that it's the thing we want the most of though..... Someone loving our difficult behinds!  I’m sure it’s difficult for others to love me just as much as it’s difficult for me to love them. What I’ve been unwilling to give, I’m going to pray that I can begin to give because that’s ultimately what I want. It’s what we all want! I love you all……….Be Blessed!

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Enjoy Every Moment of Life

Most people in the United States have too much responsibility. Individuals’ workload has become so excessive that they do not have an appropriate work/life balance. They put in a hard days work and go home just to do it all over again the next day. There is more to life than just going to work and coming home, but that’s the type of lifestyle employees have throughout the country.  We know people have to do what they have to do in order to take care of their families, but there is a fine line between working and enjoying life. Most people just work, work, and work some more without nothing to show for it. They complain about how the bills are building up and complain about how money seems to leave their hands faster than it comes in. They get caught up in the rat race where they start chases the money and caring less about themselves. As a result, 9 to 5ers continue carry out other people’s dream and put their dream on hold. They give so much, but the companies want them to give even more. If working all the time without enjoying life is so one-sided, then why do 99%of the people do it? It is almost like society has programmed us to work. People put work first and family and self-care second, and when they make the money, they often are so tired that they cannot enjoy it. Then eventually we start getting our self-worth mix up with our net-worth which is not an effective balance. Workers, there is so much more to life than work, so go out there and live!

~Kyana Idi~

Monday, September 15, 2014

Anger Management for Children

Teach Child to have empathy for others:
Assist him with processing how people feel sad when he hits them (For example, Travis you hurt mom when you pull her hair. Mom feels sad when you do that. Show Travis a picture of a sad face.)

Teach Child how to control his anger:
Associate the anger with what happen (For example, Travis is angry because he could not go outside).

Play with and observe Child:
So that he could reveal what is making him angry.

Demonstrate appropriate anger control in front of Child:
Do not argue in front of Travis.

Find out what makes Child angry:
Frustration, hungry, pain, and embarrassed

How can parents assist Child in managing his anger?
Talk to Travis
Get him to tell you why he is angry

Help Travis process what happened

Reduce the amount of Television:
Does Travis watches a lot of TV (This can cause anger if he is watching the wrong programs.)

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Managing Negative Thoughts Improve Careers

There is a quick fix to achieving goals in life, and there is a narrow but permanent fix. When receiving career counseling, quick fixes are not beneficial in the long-term. In order to really assist people in changing their life, as far as career is concern, the counselor may want to tackle the task from inside out. This may not bring about immediate change, but when changes are made, they would be more effective and long-term. In Naomi’s case (who has a hard time earning income), she has to change the way she thinks and perceive the world, because her perception is creating unpleasant and unwanted circumstances. Naomi’s dysfunctional thinking and irrational thoughts are showing her working efforts as useless and her feelings (which are the effect of her thinking) are making her discourage and confused. Therefore, Naomi has to receive some social cognitive therapy to assist her in finding the job and receiving the pay that she really wants (Zunker, 2012).

Counselor has to assist Naomi in discovering if she really wants to work at her current place of employment or assist her in discovering if she has to leave her current place of employment in order to achieve some of her long-term goals. First, Naomi must desire a better paying job to the point that she is be willing to take steps in achieving her career goals. The counselor has to assist Naomi in building her confidence and self-esteem by helping her self-efficacy and reality match. This is important, because in therapy, the counselor’s job is to assist Naomi in coming up with answers and solutions and not telling her what she must do, because Naomi has to live with the results of her decisions. Second, although Naomi may have the desire to achieve her goals, she may not have to energy and the physical capabilities to do so if she does not take care of herself. Therefore, counselor may want to encourage Naomi to change her diet by presenting the health benefits of eating a nutritious meal (Zunker, 2012).

Intervention addressing Social Economics

Third, the counselor has to address the financial issues of working pay check to pay check, because Naomi would never be able to take advantage of opportunities in her current financial situation. She may feel as though she has to stay on her current job because of financial reasons. As a result, the counselor must assist Naomi with coming up with a saving plan in order to create emergency funds. Naomi will not feel as though she is working for nothing or working just to pay the bills if she becomes financially stable. She has to come up with a behavioral modification plan where she can see herself gradually getting into a situation where financial situation changes for the better. Fourth, counselor may want to suggest or present the option of Naomi attending college online courses. Due to her financial situation, she has to continue working until she finds another job, so she has to take care of her family (Zunker, 2012).  

As far as Naomi receiving a partner, she will put herself in situations where she can meet prospects as she change and improve her life and as she expands places of employment.  Naomi can volunteer on jobs where individuals are doing what she desires to do so that she can follow behind their footsteps. When she grows and expand her world, she will meet the person of her dreams. Naomi will need to stay connected to her current resources such as church and family supports to carry out this career plan. The social norms that influence Naomi can impact her behavior and provide effects of a meaningful career (Zunker, 2012).

Building a Therapeutic Relationship

In order to establish a good working alliance with Naomi, couselor must first explain to Naomi what is expected of her and get her to agree to use the tools she will learn in therapy. The counselor has to get Naomi on board to apply the tools provided. Therefore, the counselor has to build a strong relationship with Naomi to motivate and encourage her to apply the concepts and interventions.  The counselor must create an environment based on trust, honesty, and nonjudgmental attitude. The counselor has to build a strong relationship with Naomi in order to build trust. Without trust, the counselor will not be able to encourage or motivate Naomi. The counselor must also show empathy, respect, and treating Naomi with unconditional regards.  During this time, the counselor can set expectations, and find out Naomi’s values (what really matters to her). The counselor can use Naomi’s self-reported information to develop a rapport (Zunker, 2012).


In conclusion, counselors can use the counseling theory to assist Naomi in finding a career job. For instance, there are developmental tasks in the five stages (growth, exploration, establishment, maintenance, and disengagement) that Naomi has to complete in order to have a successful career. In her treatment plan, counselor will make sure to include tasks that assist with developing each. However, unless Naomi is ready to take on a job in a new career, the tasks will not matter; because Naomi will not decide to go after the job. Counselors can substitute interventions for developmental tasks that can encourage and assist Naomi in accomplishing her goals. The goals must include tasks that address Naomi’s unique needs since each person is different. The counselor has to assist Naomi in developing a realistic self concept where she can see herself having her desired career job. The counselor will educate Naomi on health and financial concerns and explore alternatives to provide options for dealing with life’s unexpected circumstances (Zunker, 2012).

Thursday, August 28, 2014

The Golden Keys

"Don't take it from me!" You have heard it all a million times. Wake up early. Be punctual. Be organized. Set daily goals. Choose a career path. Create a plan and follow through. Chances are you already know everything you need to experience success. However, have you been a persistent, self disciplined, man or woman of action? There is no secret. Decide what you want. Choose not to settle for anything less. Most importantly, stay the course. Never give up.

Success is not rocket science. You can be successful in any industry. Success is a journey. It is not a material thing. It is not a destination. Success is a walk of life. Success is not to be confused with the rewards of success, which are material and non material (material things such as money, expensive clothes, cars, houses and non material things such as good health, a healthy marriage, well educated and disciplined children).

There are many keys to success. These keys cannot be borrowed. They cannot be purchased. Two of the major keys to success are self-discipline and persistence. Although you can buy several books on self discipline, persistence, and other keys that manifest the rewards of success, reading books will only show you how to use keys that you already have. It is up to you to use these keys.

I personally refer to Persistence and Self Discipline as "The Golden Keys".



adj. adjective
1. Refusing to give up or let go; persevering obstinately.

2. Insistently repetitive or continuous.
a persistent honking of car horns.

3. Existing or remaining in the same state for an indefinitely long time; enduring.

Self Discipline

n. noun
1. Training and control of oneself and one's conduct, usually for personal improvement.

These are not keys in which a simple turn will open a door. The road of success requires an insane amount of self discipline and persistence. Exercise and practice these keys religiously.

This is not a simple walk down the block. This is an excursion through the jungle of life. In the beginning there is no road. There are trees, dirt, rocks, animals, climate changes, and unknown surprises. Paths must be cut out with machetes. Resources must be rationed properly to meet each checkpoint. Mountains must be climbed. Dangerous animals are lurking around. Timelines are often difficult to reach. You may climb a mountain simply to find another mountain to be climbed.

Many days will be a struggle. There will be times where days will go by easily. However, always be alert. Always be prepared for challenges down the path. Business like life is cyclical. Things will not always be good. Things will not always be bad. Weather the storms. Be smart and store resources (cash, inventory) during times of abundance.

There are different levels in life. Each level is a more challenging jungle to journey through. If you have difficulty overcoming the adversities in your existing jungle, how do you intend to overcome the hard times in the more challenging atmospheres where there are greater rewards?

Do not be a complainer. Do not be a blamer. Find solutions to the problems that arise. Apply the solutions. Be a man or woman of action. Stay the course. Never give up. You will accomplish all of your goals.

written by: Chris Wiggins