Tuesday, May 26, 2015

"Love is Necessary"

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy or boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude or self-seeking. It keeps no record of wrong. It does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. Love never fails." We have likely heard this scripture from 1 Corinthians 13 in the Bible read at many weddings and used in the context of a man and woman; husband and wife. However, this definition of love, unconditional love, should be applied to all our relationships and encounters with others. We must love our neighbors, acquaintances, friends, family and even strangers the way God loves us and according to His layout of what love really is.

I was recently hurt by a very close friend. My initial feeling was to cut her off and build a wall around my heart to protect myself from being hurt again by her and anyone else. However, I could feel God pressing on my heart to forgive and love her despite our current situation. I cannot say that it is easy to just turn the other cheek and let things go so easily but as a child of God, I know that I must be obedient to my Father which in turn will ultimately bless me. In forgiving her, letting go of the hurt and loving her as God loves me, I am actually taking control of the situation, turning it over to God and not allowing the situation to control or dictate my feelings. (…"For you are a slave to whatever controls you." 2 Peter 2:19; NLT)

As I think about the way God defines and demonstrates His love. I am humbled to realize that even through my flaws and imperfections God still loves me; so who am I not to demonstrate that same love toward someone else. Love is the key ingredient to knock down barriers of hurt, bitterness, frustration, anger and pain. True love and compassion can lead you to forgive and even pray for those who may have caused you deep pain, whether known or unknown. I seek God daily in prayer to help me in this area of my life and I encourage you to do the same.

"For anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love." 1 John 4:8.

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Colossians 3:12-14

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." John 15:12-13

-Kyana M. Idi

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Grow, Expand, and Create

Successful people have a high level of self-confidence. They know if they have faith, remain positive, and focus hard enough they can accomplish all of their goals. This is the difference between having self-confidence and lacking it. Individuals that have discovered their self-confidence have gained the power to enjoy their lives and have eliminated limitations and a boring life. People who do not have self-confidence experience a life that brings many unwanted results. They are sometimes uncomfortable socializing, attending functions, and participating in new activities. As a result, they are unable to enjoy life, so they feel unfulfilled, which leaves them feeling resentful of the past and fearful of the future. They eventually began to make excuses and reasons for why they stay the way they are. This lack of self-confidence can cause a person to miss out on the beauty that life presents in every waking moment.

Some people attempt to achieve their goals but give up when obstacles get in their way. Giving up is the quickest way to becoming a non-achiever. Non-achievement brings about negative feelings, because as humans, we are natural creators. If we are not growing, expanding, and creating, we feel miserable. Blaming obstacles for not going after your dreams is another sign of problems with self-confidence.


Monday, May 11, 2015

Self-confidence: The main ingredient

Self-confidence is the main ingredient necessary to help carry out individuals’ plans. There are many reasons why individuals are not successful at fulfilling their dreams, but the core reason has to do with their level of confidence. For instance, not believing in yourself is a clear sign of a confidence issue. There are so many talented people, but since they do not believe in themselves, they often do not achieve their goals. They are great at doing specific activities, but since they lack confidence, they do not believe they have what it takes to achieve their goals.  People who lack confidence often receive compliments such as, “You great with children.”

However, confidence-lacking individuals believe people just say nice things, and compliments are accepted as people being nice, but never accepted as the truth. It is easy for these people to except negative criticisms instead of positive ones.

Eventually, they develop a false belief system (believing they are incompetent), and with this false belief system, they tend to develop low self-esteem, which causes them to lack self-confidence.


Thursday, May 7, 2015

Redeveloping Self-Confidence

Children’s level of confidence, which is natural during early childhood, somehow appears to disappear as they grow into adults. Most of the time, individuals’ confidence seems to diminish as they accept societal norms or as they experience disappointments and traumas. Even though people don’t realize it, self-confidence never disappears or diminishes. The confidence is still there inside of all of us. The confidence that people believe has left them is there all along, just may have been forgotten throughout the years. It is there waiting to be activated by and with faith. Confidence will always remain in our most inner souls, deep inside where effort is necessary to bring it out. In other words, we must learn to rediscover the confidence that has always existed on a subconscious level.

You are probably thinking, if everyone has confidence, why do some people feel insecure, nervous, unsure, and unstable when it’s time to take on a new project, go after their dreams, speak in public, socialize at gatherings, or provide presentations. The problem is not that people have an insufficient level of confidence or that they do not have any confidence. The problem is that they have not yet discovered it as an adult.

Rediscovering self-confidence may be difficult for some people due to their way of thinking. Their fear-based thoughts are causing problems to occur in their lives. Most people focus on false realities and illusions that cause them to dislike their life and themselves. This dislike causes them to disconnect with their true self, which causes them to feel angry, fearful, anxious, or depressed. Therefore, the first step to improving your self-confidence is to find out what you like about yourself.


Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Have Confidence Follow Dreams

Self-confidence is one of the most essential requirements to becoming successful, achieving goals, and more importantly, experiencing the enjoyments and simple pleasures of life. At one time or another, individuals have acquired the confidence to accomplish goals that are, as they believe now, out of their physical and mental capabilities. That type of confidence exists in people who do not believe in limitations. For example, most children under the age of ten believe that they can do anything. They also believe they are invincible.

The difference in children’s level of confidence and the level of confidence in adults has to do with individual’s level of faith. Children tend to have more faith, because they don’t have life experiences telling them that they can’t accomplish their dreams. They believe that they can do the very goal they aim to accomplish. Before a baby ever takes his first step, he believes that he can walk. Even though he falls, he doesn't stop believing. He continues to believe he could walk, getting up and falling down, until he actually starts walking. If he stops believing that he can walk, he will lose his desire to do so and therefore stop trying. As a result, the baby continues to have confidence until he actually walks. This type of confidence is what helps people overcome the fears that can destroy their dreams. 


Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Where is the Money?

Why is it that people with money say money doesn't matter? Sometimes I believe that not having money stops people from achieving the lifestyle they really desire. I know God can provide our needs, but it is the “wants” I am concern about.  I know unless I change the way I think I will always feel this way (financially hopeless), but how do I change my thinking when the circumstances of lack are staring me in the face. I know I shouldn't, but I look at the next man and compare. I work just as hard as he, look just as good, and pray just as much, so what is wrong with this picture. He is driving around in a Maseratie and I am in a hooptie. He has over a million dollars in his checking account, and I owe the bank money on fees charged for overdrafts. People that say money does not matter may not understand how it feels to always have to figure out how to make ends meet. I have to juggle bills like a circus clown. I put on an award-winning performance when people asked how I’m doing. I am doing wonderful, I say with a smile. But am I? I feel like I have a hole in my heart, because I am constantly buried in debt. I often get a snapshot of how my financial situation really is (tornado aftermath), and I am finding it even more difficult to remember or follow my dreams.

Let’s clean up the spirit:

In order to change your circumstances, you have to change the way you think, feel, and behavior.

Change thinking: The easiest way to change your thinking is to change one thought at a time. You can decide what you want to think about, and when a negative thought come in the mind, delete it and think about a desired thought. You can do affirmations to help change how you think about yourself.

Change feelings: The best way to change how you feel is to do an activity you love. Trust that God can change your circumstances.

Change behavior: Get out and enjoy nature and music. Hang around positive people and observe beautiful places. This is a form of allowing God to fix the financial situation. Pray for what you want and allow the plan to be carried out.


Thursday, April 9, 2015

End Depression and Feel Better

It is a known fact that people’s mood change with life circumstances and physical changes. They experience days where they are not feeling well. One of those days, they just want to lie in the bed and do nothing for a week. However, most people’s lifestyles do not offer that option. As a result, they have to either go to work, in the community, or stay at home feeling miserable while spreading negative energy to others. When or if they notice that no one wants to be around them, they become angry making that a part of the excuse for their misery. This is a contagious mindset to be in, because this mindset leads to unfavorable health conditions which cause people to fall into deeper levels of depression. They end up making disrespectful comments to others and end up making poor decisions. What should individuals in this situation do to feel better? How can they end this snowball effect of mental defeat? 

Let’s clean up the spirit by improving thinking, increasing energy, and connecting spiritually.

Improving your thinking:

One way to improve your thinking is to become a detective. Start questioning where the thoughts are coming from. Are they your thoughts? Is the thought something you truly believe? Then, determine whether or not the thoughts are accurate. Was she really angry with you? Or, is she just having a bad day? Did he intentionally hurt you? Or, was he just being silly?

Increasing your energy:

You can increase your energy to feel better by changing your diet, exercising, and meditating. Try eating a healthy diet loaded with fruits and vegetables to encourage and promote a pleasant mood and positive thinking. Research what foods will provide healing benefits. For example, St. John Warts helps improve mild to moderate depression. Learn how to grow vegetables and prepare meals that require minimum cooking. Try to eat lots of raw vegetables. Finally, start exercising at least three times a week. Exercising has been proven to increase energy and improve the body’s overall health. Remember to consult with your doctor before following the any recommendations.

Connecting Spiritually:

Meditating is a wonderful way to calm the mind and shut off the thoughts. Quieting the mind is a technique that allows the mind and brain to take a break. This helps you to better control thought processes and helps to eliminate negative thoughts that cause psychological and physical harm. Meditating is also an excellent way to connect with self.

Take care and feel better!


Sunday, April 5, 2015

When friends turn their back on you

Sometimes the most hurtful thing in life is getting betrayed by someone close to you. It feels like the ultimate stab in the back. It is expected that in life sometimes people get hurt and even hurt others, but what catches us off guard is when it comes from someone (a close friend) that we did not expect to behave in that manner. In the moment managing the feelings of a broken heart, it seems difficult to trust and freely share again, because you realize that people are not as for coming as you are. These so-called friends compete, conceal, and lie while you give, share, and love. As a result, it becomes difficult to figure out what to do.

Let’s clean up the spirit

To resolve the situation, you have to do three things: acknowledge, reflect, and forgive.

Acknowledge: You first have to acknowledge the hurt. Some people are in denial when dealing with hurtful situations. They say they don’t care when in actuality they are really hurting inside. They may also say that they don’t need friends anyway when in essence we all need each other. It is wise to be honest by staying aware of your feelings and acknowledging how hurt you really are so that you can move on to the next step to healing.

Reflect: Second, you have to reflect. Take a moment to think about the lesson you learned and what part you may have played in the situation. You may have displayed similar characteristics as the friend. Those selfish characteristics cause people of a similar nature to stick around you. Or, you may be enabling others to take advantage of you by not saying “no” or not teaching people how to treat you. Whatever the reason, you must reflect in order effectively complete the next step.

Forgiveness: Finally, you have to eventually forgive. Forgiving the person is an act of letting go. It makes no sense to keep anger, bitterness, resentment inside, because those toxic feelings cause harmful affects on you not the person who hurt you.

Take care and continue to clean up the spirit!